memories that last for a lifetime;

2011 People

2012-01-23T03:12:00.000+08:00

In no order whatsoever,

#Jovon&Gary

Singapore Polytechnic

#03

#tinwyn

#The DTVM Gang

#Comperes - Evan, Alex & Char

Inwardbound - Thomas,Zing&MrsC

RAYs Ministry

#Ancient Cell

#TCC

#Deeben

#Aaron Fan

Deyi

#The Guyz

#James&Matt

#ChuaJunhao&AlexLee

#JasmineYap

#The Girls, Forever&Always

2011 Highlights,

2012-01-23T03:09:00.002+08:00

[edit]

I had absolutely no time to finish this up before the start of 2012, so I thought to myself, well, let's begin the "year" with CHINESE NEW YEAR then!

Happy CNY everywhere, as you go around collecting money from family and friends, take some time to think about the past year and be grateful (:

[/edit]

In the blink of an eye an entire year has gone by, and I sit here on the last day of 2011 wondering where my life has gone to. It has been an incredible year of journeying with the Lord, and I know that it is essential for me to take my routine trip down memory lane to just give thanks to Him for the highs & the lows of this year.

2011 was the year I took a step of faith and favour followed me everywhere somehow. That's just how good our God is. He's releasing me into my destiny, one step at a time.

I love you Daddy God.

#Countdown to 2011

Started off the year with tinwyncliff, Ancient Cell & the guyz!

It was one of the rare outings with The Guyz though, this year was a year where the guyz all had our own lives and it was really difficult to meet up and play like we used to. I'm glad we're all still in touch though (:

#Tertiary Cell

Leading cell this year was really fruitful, and we've come really far from when we first started out, and when I first stepped up a leader. We've all grown and matured together, and have learnt to be transparent and lean on each other for support. I've learnt how to let God lead through me, and I am grateful.

& grateful to Sam, my co-cellleader, as well ^^

#The DTVM Gang - Gig Crashing!

Laneway marked the start of many gigs to come. Laneway/Justin Bieber/Maroon 5/The Script!!! The planning of tactics, the rush of adrenaline, the thrill of getting in, the good music, and the best company <3

It was good times, and before this year I've never been to a concert.

And that also marked The DTVM Gang's arrival into my life (: #grateful

#LW Speech & Drama Centre

Working at LW was a good God given opportunity, and I learnt so much from the teachers there. The best environment EVER to work in, with smiling and understanding supervisors, who guide and teach me what to do. Assiting Ms Anna was the best ever, and I'll never forget my little ones at my 2.30 - 6.30 class!

#Valentine's

A highlight because of what a joke it was! My younger brother forever <3

#RAYs Gig 2011

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=105107306235439&set=t.820480330&type=3

Best event to emcee ever!

#CASS FOC 2011

Fun & laughter. Those few weeks in that bubble world of CASS were fun, and I hardly worried about anything (:

#StereoDADPical

DADP <3

#SDEA

SDEA taught me so many things, and it was there that I met people who are living out my dreams. There is hope for us yet :')

#Comperes Camp

#Church Camp'11/Ancient Cell Roadtrip '11

The Prodigal God, where I learnt to forgive, surrender and give it all up for Jesus :')

& KL, possibly our last road trip together.

#Liberated 2011

Liberated 2011 pretty much too up the whole of the first half of the year, but boy was it worth it. It was the small step of faith which brought about such a pouring of blessing into my life. I learny so much from it, and I once again wanna thank my core team(stella/sam/deebz/xuan/josh), cast & crew for everything.

& mostly, Daddy God, who deserves the highest praise.

#Inwardbound - CTSS

The start of my inwardbound journey! Along with it came new experiences, many learning points and loads of laughter.

#ToTimorWithLove

Timor Leste was amazing. For the first of the four times I've been there, I heard Daddy God clearly call me to go, and it was amazing how everything fell so perfectly in place in His timing. I carried out an applied drama workshop in the land that my heart will always love, and I have never been more impacted by the people of this wonderful nation,

Timor Leste, hau hanoin ita tebes tebes.

I will be back one day, I know.

#Melbourne

Melbourne was an interesting city to visit, and I loved spending time with my cousins there. What was the most valuable, though, were the times I got to wander about the city by myself, exploring and wondering what it'll be like to stay in a place like this for an extended period of time. It is a buzzly city of the Arts, and it was a really good experience.

#Introduction to Theatre for Intervention

The module is by far the best in the past 2 years in DADP. We laughed, learnt and grew together in that 75 hours cramped over three days. Thank you, Dr Peter O Conner. Playback will always be a fondly used form (:

#Adventure '11

Adventure '11 was what sparked an all new life-changing adventure in my life :D

& with everything that happened after, I must say this, tinz I love you and I miss having the time to just sit down and talk and laugh about everything and anything :)

wyn is invalid :0)

#Comperes Chalet '11

Back to 2010 all over again. But it was a good blast to the past (:

#L'etoile

3 times I worked there, but it taught me so much. I've never worked in f&b before, and taking orders, making drinks, CARRYING TRAYS UP AND DOWN STAIRCASES, washing dishes - these were all knew to me. I do like this cozy corner of a cafe very much.

Eye opening experience Daddy God dropped into my life!

#Shalynfest '11

My 18th birthday celebrations brought almost all the people in the world that I love all together. Granted, it wasn't that much of a hit success in terms of programmings, but everyone tried their hardest to go beyond their comfort zone to make me happy that night.

And what more could I ask than my girls planning everything + the people I love singing songs to me? :)

#Hadomi diak los kolega

#For The Love Of The Bear

I have never seen 8 year olds any more excited than this. The whole experience was a whole lot of fun, and Lily was a blast to play. She is the stupidest but most lovable character ever!!!

Children's Theatre is so, very precious!

#Moving House

Oh Seletar Springs, how I miss you so. I miss my nightly walks home, the tree & verse on my wall, being able to see the stars at night.

That being said, Bishan has its many perks, and I don't regret moving. It was time to move on.

#Youth Camp '11

Youth Camp, as always, was an amazing encounter with Daddy God. All in all, He drew me back close to Him and whispered in my ear that I am the apple of His eye, His little girl. And nothing and no one could ever, ever, ever, change that.

My future is in His hands.

#Christmas '11

USS -> Marina Bay Sands -> Christmas Children's Party -> Christmas Service -> Mrs C's place

Hands down the best Christmas ever.

#Countdown

We've come full circle, and once again I spent new year's with the most amazing wonderful people.

One month into 2012, and I say with confidence, it is going to be an amazing year.

Thank you Daddy God for 2011, and thank you Daddy God for what is to be 2012.

my one&ahalf hour experience at rebel.

2011-11-20T22:10:00.003+08:00

I greet the guys & Jasmine at the Clarke Quay taxi stand with hugs, and as we make our way over I grab onto their arms and helplessly declare my irrational fears for all to hear. They shrug me away and reassure me by poining at each other and saying "He will take care of you one!", with the pointed one's protest of 'not being able to make game with her around.'

Nelson signs me in, and I stand lost in the crowd as they disappear. I attempt to queue up to change my notes to change for the locker, but Nel reappears, grabs me by the hand and we head over to the lockers. They bring me over to the VIP area, and their friends wave us over. The boys who are sitting see us and immediately stand and gesture to the seats, and proceed to continue in their chai chuan.

Jasmine & I make conversation with the Girl In The Group, and she continuously offers us drinks. Bottles after bottles appear at our table, and when no one's looking I grab a glass and pour Coke into it before gulping it down. (#loser I know don't say already) I make use of pauses to scope the entire area. The cage thing looks like a huge mob of people squashed like pancakes, and I wonder how anyone can dance in that mess. I verbalize my question, and Jasmine grabs me by the hand and drags me in.

The minute we wander in I can feel the boys around us size us up. I feel like a piece of meat on display at cold storage, and proceed to stand still like a rock. Jas shouts updates of her life over the music before finally trying to loosen me up, and as I start to move a little I immediately feel a boy behind me. Rock Shalyn immediately reappears and as random boys come closer I grab Jasmine and drag her off the dance floor as she laughs at me.

Somehow we end back up on the dance floor, but this time Wister had caught us from the corner and followed us in. The boys around us size us up again, and because it's later it's somehow even squeezier on the dance floor. I instinctively grab onto Wister's arm, and like magic there is suddenly somehow SPACE AROUND ME.

The second batch of people came in, and Jasmine and I gleefully greet Lon & Ah neh. The club's full by now, and there were people dancing everywhere. I cannot help but notice how it seems like the population of AMK Kpool in a black room with flashing lights and loud music. As if to emphasize the point, the guys go into Protective Mode, and Nelson grabs my wrist as we all form a line and squeeze through the crowd to get back on the dance floor.

A stupid vile of a human being lets his hand slide through me as he passes by, and I stop and almost whack his hand and give him the finger. The guys notice, of course, but leave it at giving him the familiar look of death I used to see when we tio tai ji. Nelson holds onto my wrist even more firmly than before, and hurries me onto the platform.

He takes my head and literally drags me into his shoulder, does the same for Jasmine, and wait for the other guys. He grabs onto Wister and whispers "take care of them" before disappearing into the crowd. By then all the other guys are there, and I feel the safest that I've ever been.

There is no sense of time in that place. Jasmine laughs along with me as we dance together, and finally shrugs away the awkwardness she insists there is in having the guys be so close to us. All I remember is flashes of lights, the beat of the music, the assurance of the guys behind us, and a lot of squeezing.

Eventually it is time to go, and the guys hold onto our hands and drag us out. We hug our goodbyes and wish them a good night before heading over to the taxi stand. We laugh at the absurdity of the night, and hug goodbye.

I guess I understand how people enjoy it, it's easy to let loose and go mad in there, because everyone there is doing the same thing. Rebel reminds me too much of AMK, and it kind of just feels like the over-18 version of my sec three life.

I missed the guys like that, somehow.

Fedex,

2011-11-01T02:08:00.001+08:00

He doesn't want anything from us, he just wants US. That's the thing.

We'll be ready when we both love Him more than each other.

Or anything else in the world.

I know this feeling,

2011-10-24T19:25:00.000+08:00

I know this feeling.

It was the same when theidiot went with NeighbourGirl, when ActCuter went with BestFriend, when Onlyfriend went with ThatGirl, when Emoboi went with FacebookGirl and (when we were enemies) Originalbestfriend.

It is the bitterness, always accompanied with bitchiness and covered up by an attempted coldness. It is bitterness toward the fact that some (for the lack of the better word) bitch is having what I gave up. The pang that I no longer am the subject of affection & attention. The resistance my heart has against no longer being number one.

I then become the worst of myself that I know. Attention-seeking, whiny, tantrum-throwing, manipulative and just plain annoying.

Which explains why that this is where it usually becomes the start of the end of those friendships. Not that it ends forever all the time, if that is considered as good news.

It took one year for idiot, never for act cuter, 6months for onlyboi, 4 months for emoboi.

But it is never, ever the same again.

You don't deserve the shit I'm scared I'll put you through. You won't be able to take it. In spite of yourself, you might walk away. & if you don't, it'll just be plain unfair.

This is what I was so afraid of.

Myself.

I know you'll read this eventually, please don't be upset with me. I don't want this. I promised I'd fight for our friendship, and I will. I must. I'd hate to be the one that ruins it, as I always am.

Daddy God I need you.

born for the sunrise, we'll survive the pain;

2011-10-15T00:16:00.003+08:00

I met one-third of our sacred three today.

She said that we fell out. That I'm #indenial but no matter what it doesn't change the fact that we can't be best friends, not for now.

And for both our sake's she'll make sure that happens.

"For a month..or AT THE VERY LEAST the next three weeks"
"THREE WEEKS?!"

I shook my head jumped around spun in circles and whined in protest, to her usual look of disdain. "As his best friend, do this as a favor to him. You can't be selfish in this one, Shalyn." I spin some more and attempt to flag a cab, failing to convince myself that all she is saying will just go away.

I miss you. We never had a problem with not talking to each other all the time, and it'll be of no matter if a week ago we went days without speaking. What I miss is the ability to call you anytime, whenever I wanted to, knowing you'll be there. To update about life, to laugh about nonsense, to whine about a situation. I miss being your best friend.

No more denial. I have to face the fact that right now, I am not your best friend. Not from your perspective, anyhow.

Okay that was hard to type.

I need to do what any good best friend should do. Let you go. I will push all selfish intentions to the back of my mind and deal with your (TEMPORAL) loss. I can do this.

Daddy God's watching you, & I'm praying for you everyday, all the time. Get better soon, and we'll rebuild our friendship when the time comes.

Call me cheesy, but I'm waiting for you, my best friend. ♥

Rebellion,

2011-10-13T15:52:00.002+08:00

I sit in the middle of marine parade library and eat a piece of cornflake honeyjoy.

To me that is an act of absolute rebellion to all that is happening. On a normal day 6 days ago, I would text with smiley faces and heart shapes for stealing something.

I think I might just break down in the children's section.

Good job Shalyn (Y)

here we are now in the desperate youth & pain,

2011-10-13T03:21:00.004+08:00

This sucks.

I hate this more than how much I've hated anyone in my life. I hate this I hate what this is doing to you I hate how much this is hurting you. I hate how much I'm hurting you. & all I can do is sit here and listen silently from the other end of the line, unable to say the words that would make all your pain go away.

This has happened five times. FIVE. Daddy God I know it's my weakness and all, but seriously, five is a tad pushing me ain't it? I guess I've got no one else left to blame and therefore am pointing fingers at You. It is childish of me to try to avoid the almighty Creator, but he is my Father after all. I miss you, Daddy God.

I can say with all confidence that this is the worst of the worst of the worst. Not biasly because I'm facing it now, but because I've never seen anyone else go through so much real pain for me. For what I cannot change about myself. For what makes me who I am.

For three hours just now I forgot everything else and left it aside for awhile. A good friend, a guitar, and music. All that mattered was whether I could reach a higher note or if I was actually on key. "Why do you always like to talk about stuff that keeps people down?" I was challenged. & so I stopped, forgot, laughed, jumped around and sang my heart out.

thank you, if you do read this, by the way. & no I am not being cheesy, I'm too busy being depressed. *makes a face

I leave the side of Singapore I hate the most(the irony), and it's back to reality.

I'm scared, scared to turn 18. Scared of how much my life is changing. We can lie to ourselves all we want, but life is always changing and time doesn't stop for anybody. I don't want that. I don't think I'll like the change that is to come/is happening very much.

I do not want to lose you.

at home in the clouds, towering over your head;

2011-10-10T01:59:00.002+08:00

I just threw away what I always wanted within 24 hours.

Because it was the right thing to do.

& now I can only hope that when I see you my mind will not be flooded with 'what-could-have-been's.

Daddy God knows best.

a handful of moments I wish I could change,

2011-10-07T05:07:00.004+08:00

It's been a hard week.

I spent the first two & a half days reliving Sept 2010 all over again. Everything, everything(with the exception of some vital emotional aspects), felt like time had stopped and I had backtracked to one year ago. It was strange, but comfortable, and all too familiar.

And then it hit me all of a sudden, that I had let go of everything that had occurred in the span of time since then. The pain, the tears, the fights, the hurt, the exasperation. The hate. Gone, with a smile and a "So...how've you been?" It messed me up for a bit, before I wiped the tears from my eyes, leaned my head on the familiar shoulder before standing up and continuing to do the right thing.

Things happen, feelings get hurt, but we forgive.

& we move on.

Tonight I felt a tinge of different kind of pain. It would be an understandment to call it a tinge actually. I haven't had a sobbingtillIcan'tbreathe/

throwingthingsaroundmyroom/screaming&shouting/swearing breakdown in ages. I find it quite funny(in a strange way) how the roles are all switched around but the situation so similar.

Whatever you say, I was special. We were special. No one will ever understand. No one else was there pretending to be asleep as you waited for me to fall asleep to whisper a 'good night'. No one else listened to your singing as lullabies. No one else told me stories to forget nightmares. No one else stayed up till the sun light up the sky, talking about everything under the sun. No one else said that they didn't need anyone else, because I was more than enough of a friend than anyone would ever be. No one knew you like I did.

I hate regret, but I regret what I did to our friendship. You say that there are sometimes that we cannot control, and we faded, but I still can't stop punishing myself for losing you. I wish there was something else, someone else that could've stopped me from ruining something that was more than enough by believing that what we were wasn't.

I miss the you I used to know.

Things happen, feelings get hurt, but we must forgive(ourselves).

~~& we move on.~~

Princess for the night,

2011-09-23T00:08:00.005+08:00

I greet my younger brother who turned 19 this year with a hug and a thousand apologies, as I was late as usual. He shrugs me away and complains of how long he'd been waiting, and I buy him popcorn and a drink to appease him. I chose the movie, as usual, and we laugh as we realise that it is once again a romantic comedy.

We catch up for lost time as the advertisements flash on screen, and as we whisper in the darkness I lean close and recognise the smell of his familiar cologne. He takes out his phone to see the message of the new girl who's been chasing him, and I protest as he texts in the middle of the movie. I fangirl over Ed Westwick on the screen, and make a mental note to let him choose the next show we watch as I glance over at his attempt at being absorbed into the show.

We meet Alex, and as I pretend to throw a tantrum Alex pleads guilty and cups my face in his hand in an attempt to calm me down. I make him retell me the five rules of thumb as Shalyn's Friend, and he looks over at my brother for help when he gets all of it wrong. Junhao shrugs before laughing at Alex's familiar plight, and I eventually give in.

We go for dinner & ice-cream, like we always do, and as they tease me I roll my eyes before physically assaulting the two boys who mean the world to me. I notice something pink hanging from my brother's bag, and I grit my teeth in the memory of the bitch who broke his heart. I steal the bear, and I take the boys on a keychain-hunting adventure as I ignore his (lying) protests that it means nothing anymore.

I ask him how I could hate that bitch more than he did, since she was his exgirlfriend and not my own, and he replies, "Because you are my...." Alex interjects with some nonsense word, but Junhao shakes his head and matter-of-factly completes his sentence in English. "Because you are my shield."

We finish the adventure and I triumphantly buy him a baby tofu keychain, the most worthy spend of the night. I put the bear in the giftbag that was given and hand it to him as he replaces the keychain, and reminds him that no one can throw or return the bear but himself. He finds out the ridiculous price of the tofu(hehe), and I see the gratitude in his eyes. The three of us sit in the middle of the mall, take stupid pictures, laugh about nothing, and tell stories.

They tell me fabricated stories that I believe in shock as we make our final rounds at the malls, and their amusement makes it impossible for me to stay angry with them. We part ways with my brother as he heads the other direction, and I lean my head on Alex's shoulder for support on the way home as I clunch my stomach in pain from the cramps(stupid #thattimeofthemonth). I remind him to take care of himself and remember the rules as he gets off, and he pinky promises.

I do not know how to explain the simple happiness that they give me. They tease and jostle me to no end, but always let me have my way. They know that I love them very much despite them ignoring my proclamations, and they appreciate me for that.

With them, I always feel like a little princess.

L'etoile,

2011-09-21T17:59:00.003+08:00

I sit in L'etoile Cafe with a strawberry soda and my best friend's book, and marvel at my own ability to enjoy the serene surroundings in this familiar place, just down the road from church. Six months ago I wouldn't be caught dead anywhere by myself, being unreasonably cautious of the whole world's impression of 'lonely' people.

Ever since church camp my world has been turned upside down, in a good way. Too much has changed in my life, and I'm still trying to get a hold of this. The combination of the past semester, Timor, Melbourne and ITI sparked a new change once again, and I think I just got over the post-change depression that always occurs.

Everything always needs some getting used to. I feel crappy and cry myself to sleep for awhile, especially when these changes amplify when it's #thattimeofthemonth, but at the end of the day, everything always works out for good in the end.

My electronic bestfriend Google just informed me that L'etoile is French for The Star. The sun goes down, the stars come up~ I miss the Timor/Melbourne sky, where stars brighten and shine and it is a beauty to behold.

I've been feeling quite alone the past weekend, though I know for a fact that I am anything but. I just felt too much of an observer than participant of everyone's lives, due to the crazy semester and me going away immediately after. I'm starting to call people and hang out with everyone that I need to, and slowly becoming the Shalyn that everyone knows and the one I am most comfortable with being. Jaime said that I've become more of a thinker than I've ever been in the past 6 years that we've been best friends, and I wonder if it's a good or bad thing.

I have 3 & a half weeks left in my holidays, and since I freed myself up from all school commitments, I wonder how it's going to go. The manager of L'etoile just offered me a job, and I'm going to enquire about it later and see how it goes. I am dreading heading to the east every Saturday from this Saturday onwards for LW, but even if I decide to work here I don't know how I'll ever explain that to Nick. We'll see.

I don't like closing doors that are open for me without even stepping in for a bit first. It's like an unknown adventure that I'd be unwilling to try, and I always take open doors as opportunities presented by God.

& I really like the name of this place.

Hmm.

A taste of Melbourne, a trace of Timor;

2011-09-12T19:42:00.003+08:00

Written in Melbourne on the third day I was there -

Wednesday, 6th Sept

I am sitting in a starbucks in Melbourne typing this onto Microsoft word because the starbucks here doesn’t have wifi. Can you imagine that? A sbux would be nothing without wifi in Singapore. Then again, Melbourne is quite a different city.

Everyone here takes their time with things. I walk the streets alone and try to imagine living in a place like this in two years, and I like that idea. Everything closes at 5pm here, a fact I forgot as I tried to enter a quaint library I came across just down the street from my hotel. I like it here. It is cold, but that gives me the chance to buy all these pretty jackets and dream about boots that would stink up my feet with sweat in Singapore.

Meeting my cousins and Min’s friends was great, it was nice to be brought around by people who know the place really well. Melb Uni Is beautiful, it is a huge pity that they don’t have a very good theatre course here. It would be nice to live here for a couple of years.

[Edit]

After having long insightful conversations with my cuzzie Jason(who's changed so much since he went to live in Auzzie), I discovered that there is a good theatre course, at Victorian College of the Arts, the arts sector of Melb Uni.

Need to pray about this!!!

That being said, I dreaded the trip here, and if I were to be honest, it was because I was bitter about coming home early from my dear Timor Leste. Sebestiao holding my hand and telling me he’ll miss me, all the kids coming when I checked in my language and packing them all in the car and bringing them back, only to have them go back to the airport half hour later to send me off for good. Them all sitting at the house behind the fence shouting my name like I was a superstar, beckoning me to leave when they noticed all I was doing was waving at them non-stop, refusing to board the plane. The mini ceremony they had to honour me, the tears shining in Leandro’s eyes, Theofilus following me around and his dog-eyed depressed faced before I placed him on my lap.

These images come back to me as I walk the streets of Melbourne, talk to Min about life, or visit a tourist site here. I push them to the back of my mind in an attempt to lessen the heartbreak. I tire myself out here before I finally exhaust myself till I have to fall asleep, and as I close my eyes I hear the children’s sweet voices as I picture them singing.

Melbourne is beautiful, but I would give anything to be back in Timor Leste.

The only comfort(sort of) is that the team in Singapore is back, and that means in their goodbyes today they had [hopefully] passed the letters I owed to the children.

It is nice though, sitting in sbux by yourself with no judging eyes. Wearing whatever you like. Having everyone around you look like they've just walked down a fashion runway.

I must go back to the hotel now. It is 6.20pm and it is dark outside.

C’est la vie.

To Timor With Love - Day 3;

2011-09-01T20:37:00.003+08:00

I sit here with many thoughts in my head, unsure on how to pen all of it down. They are all a big mess and this blogpost is an attempt to organise everything that I am feeling thinking experiencing right now, so that I will never forget the time here.

Today Primus <3, Octavio, Jefrian, Sebestiao & gang all came to school. I met all of them + Noel&Lerio etc in 2007, the first time I came here. They were only 7/8 years old then, how much they've all grown! Most of them have all reached the age where it is uncool to hug, but Primus in his usual comic fashion greeted me with the biggest and greatest hug ever as I exclaimed at his arrival.

There are no words to describe the joy I have when I interact with the children here. They are loving and compassionate; yet cheeky and playful. They punch, kick and pull each other's hair; yet are loyally protective of each other. I've practically watched these children grow up in the past five years, and it is a blessing. They grow a little bit more mature every year, and despite whatever behavior they may seem to have; their hearts remain pure and keen to love.

Today one of the boys hit Fransico really hard on the head, and he started to cry. Sebestiao, the big boss as I like to call him, took notice and started going off in Tetun. From my basic understanding and his body language I could tell he was angry that Fransico was hurt, and was trying to find out who had hit him. In the next second he had pulled two of the boys towards him, hit both of them, gave a warning; and plonked back next to me.

That is their way of love, you see. These children witnessed riots, fires, war. In 2006 when they were only 6 - 7 years old school stopped because there was too much inner conflict in Timor Leste. It was only safe in '07, and it has been 5 years since. Violence is normal to them. But here in Shallom, they do not hit to hurt. Which is precious, so very precious here in Timor Leste.

And it was also exactly something my guyz would do, LOL.

Isabel brought up something that I somehow didn't really think about during dinner. She said that as we were teaching the children how to wash their hands and brush their teeth, she was overjoyed because she knew that this would be something so very relevant and useful for them. Three simple steps to wash their hands & brush their teeth, but steps that had never occurred to them and that they had previously never been taught before.

It made me reflect, and suddenly I remembered how much planning it took for this to happen. It is like the moment I step into Timor Leste all that I have learnt the past two years does not matter to me anymore, the children are more important. I really do not know if that is a good or bad thing, because it might lesser of a facilitator than I actually am.

For the benefit of myself as a aspiring drama practitioner and the exhibition in June, I really should pen down what conventions worked and what didn't. It is amazing, how things turned out this way. Never did I imagine as I typed my Gangrene lit review that it would be the spark of a applied drama project I would bring here. I do not know why that excitement has died down, maybe because I am more concerned of who is or is not in school than I should be.

DOES NOT WORK:

Hot-Seating
Hot-seating does not work for nuts! At first I thought using simple English would be okay, but there is no point in hot-seating if they have no idea what you are talking about. The interpreter should be the hot-seated character instead, should we insist on using this convention. If not there is no conversation and questioning, and therefore no point of this convention.
Tableux
Tabluex are too complex for the children here. They are not able to show pictures of what they do; they prefer to just show it to us. It is easier for them to understand and do as well.

WHAT WORKED:

The context
The children, ESPECIALLY the primary school students, love the idea of being in a health army. They all stand at attention and do the military test(ie. wash hands brush teeth) in great spirit, and salute us when they all get the SAUDE TROPA(Health Army) badges. [Yay to us tintin!]
The monsters thing worked as well! The drama practitioner in me was ticking a checklist of the objectives in my head as they met each one. From what I see they have effectively learnt the causes, consequences and alternatives of whatever illness we were attacking!
Scenes
As what I mentioned earlier, the children are able to understand and grasp the concept of doing scenes very easily. I was able to facilitate that portion without an interpreter using basic tetun today, which I was super happy about! SO, for timor, scenes scenes scenes! It always them to better practice what they have learnt as well.
Groupings/Examples
The children here are not used to this, and so they tend to be quite shy. Even the ones who usually follow us around and ask us to mai, mai!(come, come) Calling them out in groups and sometimes showing them examples of what needs to be done helps.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

Space
Catching was doable, but not as fun because the space is very constrained. Also I conducted the entire workshop with the children sitting behind their chairs and tables half of the time, because there is absolutely no space for them to push their chairs anywhere else. The floor is also too dirty to sit/lie/conduct a drama workshop on.
Instructions
When I first started my instructions were kind of all over the place, which made it hard for Lydia our interpreter. The children were also more easily confused.

Okay I have had enough of technical speak! It feels too much like I'm doing a reflection for an ED workshop, *yuck.

The fact that I have actually realised my dream, it has yet to fully hit me yet. Daddy God is good, so very good; and it was Him who engineered all of this to fall into place. I am grateful, and tomorrow is the last day I have. I will do the very best I can, and hopefully facilitate with all the energy I can muster in the world.

Leandro didn't come to school today. I asked Primus to tell him to come to school tomorrow, but the chances are slim. I might have misunderstood and they might not even be from the same village. The language barrier is frustrating.

That being said, there are so many things I am learning to rejoice about on this trip. I have decided, though I know I will always hope; I will not let this affect my interaction with the other children. What a waste it would be if I did.

Tomorrow is my second last day here, and the last day of the program. I want to stay here forever, but I know it is not my time yet. Daddy God be willing, one day it will be.

Hadomi Timor Leste tebes tebes,

Shalyn.

To Timor With Love - Day 2;

2011-08-31T22:19:00.002+08:00

Ola.

It has been awhile since I have blogged here, and spoken of Timor Leste. Yet here I am now, blogging from Timor. It's amazing how much has changed since the first time I came here. In 2007, there were still refuge camps packed all along the side of the airport, and everywhere I went people threw stones at each other; the land was desolate and bare, & everything was falling apart.

Four years later, Timor Leste now has working traffic lights, random super nice buildings here and there, repainted places, & WIFI IN THE HOTEL ROOM! Shalom even has renovated toilets, which is ah-ma-zing. I praise Daddy God and give a little excited shriek whenever I see random bits of progression as I cross the road or sit in the car.

The hotel we're staying at is mega awesome, every night and morning that we're here I feel like we're at church camp. Then we see the desolate areas just next door and I am once again reminded that I am at where my heart belongs, Timor Leste.

Yesterday I asked Lydia(the school administrator & our dear friend) why Leandro's name wasn't on the namelist of the children at the school. Her face fell as she told me of how he had gotten tuberculosis in April, and dropped out of school shortly after. Tuberculosis is the SARS equivalent here in Timor, and his friends had stayed away and laughed at him till he did not want to come back any longer.

For the benefit of those who do not know anything about Timor, it is NOTHING like here. When a student drops out of Shalom it is not like we can pick up the phone call and check on their whereabouts. Yes, that is possible if the parents happen to have phones, but it is a lot harder to trace students who no longer attend here. Leandro dropping out of school means that unless Filimena(a girl from his village) tells him that we're here and he actually has the time to come and visit, I will probably never see him again.

My heart broke, but I had promised Daddy God that I would rejoice in all things through Him, and so I kept it in. Today when we had class I brought it up with Lydia again, and asked about a few more boys who I had met in '07 & '08. The names I mentioned caused her face to fall even more each time, and they all had their own sad story to tell of why they had stopped attending Shalom.

And Lydia ended off with saying that Leandro wore the necklace I gave him all the time when he still attended school.

Right then and there I couldn't take it. I had to run off to cry twice. It is not just about the fact that I can never see them again, I can live with that. It's how each child has their own sad tale to tell of why they stopped getting the education they deserve. In '07 we got them to tell us their dreams, and many wanted to be pastors, soldiers, even government officials. & then I find out Elias stopped school because his parents passed away and he was given to another family.

I do not know how to put this kind of heartbreak into words. All I can do now is pray, pray that they are safe and sound; that one day they can come back here or to anywhere else to get the education that they need.

I am hoping, praying; that I will see Leandro at least once during this trip. Just once. I want to ask him why he stopped school himself. Attempt to convince him to come back. Make sure that he's still alive and well.

Anything can happen in Timor Leste.

With all of that said, Daddy God is the Lord above all, and He is the God of Timor. He will take care of each and every child, and He loves them with a deeper love than I could ever phantom, much less attempt to give them.

I am grateful to be here, grateful for the children here; and grateful for the lessons He is teaching me. I am learning to rejoice in all things, hope in all things, endure in all things. This is the first time I am so certain I was called to be here, so I want to keep trusting in Him every step of the way.

The program tintin and I planned is going well so far! Language barrier is a MEGA HUGE ISSUE, because it's more like Lydia is facilitating than we are, which is difficult. But we take things into our stride, and the children still seem to understand what's going on. The school needs 2.4mil to start a Senior High School so that not as many of these children will disappear, so I can't wait for the exhibition next year where we can collect $$$!!!

There is greater things still to be done, (;

Bonoite,
Shalyn.

Favour,

2011-08-07T18:44:00.003+08:00

Too much has happened since Liberated. Besides being jam-pack with work & adjusting to my new independent friend-free lifestyle, a lot of good things has been happening to me. I was just too preoccupied trying to fight against all the 'bad' stuff to be able to see it.

For one thing, stopping in the middle of nowhere on the way home sitting by my favorite playground and just sobbing is not exactly exemplifying how blessed I am now. I've been unmotivated, unfocused, and basically been floating on my own cloud of depression and pity party.

In this one month alone I've started a christian prayer group with the DADP Year 2s, started work at the drama company that inspired me to be where I am in the first place, been selected for Celebrate Drama! 2012, and above all, gotten approval to go to Timor & implement an applied drama programme there.

AND I HARDLY EVEN DO ANYTHING. I just sit here and lepak and mind my own business and God calls, I take one simple step ie. talk to ONE dadp year 2/do my work/talk to my parents/talk to Ps Tom and BAM! all these things happen.

I guess this is what it means to not strive. In this past year I have lost my focus. I've forgotten my purpose and my one true motivation. I've put aside my calling. I am called to this field of work to reach out to the lost, to the poor in spirit and whose hearts are weak. Not to get As and be the top 10% of the course, tyvm.

I was at FOP with Aaron yesterday, and Ps John Bevere preached about extraordinary lives lived out through the empowering power of His grace and HIS GRACE ALONE. What have I been doing, trying to prove myself right and working so hard for my grades and my results? Does God CARE if I get an A or top the course?

No, He is looking at the heart. He is looking at if I've honoured Him in my work. If I've given my all.

I have three presentations, two exams, and three applied drama workshop plans to plan in the next 2 weeks. I am going to do this, and damn well am I going to do this right.

By His strength, and His strength alone.

Matt 25:23 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

P.S. Thank you wyn <3

but you haven't lost me yet,

2011-08-02T10:23:00.003+08:00

I'm sitting in DiC lecture as I type this, and it's one of the first times I'm actually here and on time.

So much has happened in this one semester, and one of the 'highlights' was that I got cornered by my lecturers because of the rate I was skipping classes. It kinda felt like I was back in secondary school again, but this time round I actually cared that my grades are dropping and the attitude towards school in general hasn't exactly been at its best.

Which explains why I cannot skip any classes from now till forever.

There is so much work to be done. I'm worried for EAD & QLRM the most, I have realised that I am the worst at individual work because the fact that I'm not pressuring others lessens the pressure I put on myself.

MUST. START. ON. EAD. TONIGHT!

I'm exhausted, I guess. By the time I reach home every night, I crash in bed and refuse to get back up till at least an hour later. I wish I could stop running from here to there, but I don't exactly have a choice because with 6 assesments coming up, my life is packed back to back with project meetings.

With all of that said, I am much less miserable than I was last week. I've finally decided that the battle against the system will get me nowhere, and therefore shall just suck it up and deal with the way school is run and live with that.

What I don't learn here, I'll learn outside (:

Am mega grateful to Daddy God for always giving me opportunity after opportunity. I am determined to buck up on my work once again, please give me the strength <3

Plan: EAD TONIGHT, QLRM TOMORROW NIGHT, ED FACILITATION RUN THROUGH THURS NIGHT, COMPLETION OF EAD + QLRM SUNDAY + TUESDAY, PROJECT NECESSITIES THE WHOLE WEEK, READ TEXTBOOK AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!

Goodbye,

2011-07-06T02:39:00.006+08:00

Forever.

All my heads are tails,

2011-07-03T02:22:00.000+08:00

It's been a busy week, and besides my awesome 03 & The DTVM Gang, I haven't met any of my friends :/ MSTs were horrible, I have never been so unprepared for assessments my entire poly life. But somehow I'm not paranoid about it like I usually am, maybe I'm too tired to be and when the results come out I'll go into depression or smth LOL. (I hope not)

Missing: Zany, Jul, Farhan, Ryhan(where'd you goooo)

Been hanging with The DTVM Gang the past two nights, it's been so long! We really should do other things together besides crash concerts (: The overtaking of Aaron's car, MY ROTI KIREI, the DADP addition of Joseph, and most importantly THE CELEBRATION OF OUR FAVOURITE MALAY BOY'S BIRTHDAY were all a blast. It was a good break from all the stress of school and the 1000 things to do as well.

I blogged the top half of the post last night. Now it's 2am on the 3rd of July, 6hrs till youth day. & yet I am here, blogging. I am a bundle of mixed emotions. I have been reflecting about the entire journey, what I've learnt, and the much I've failed in. It got me sobbing into my pillow for awhile, but Daddy God whispered into my ear "They still love you. I still love you." and got me up and back to my emails.

I know that I have been a mess this entire production, from the point I went down on my knees in surrender and take this step of faith to do this, till now, 6 hours before the show runs. I had no clue how to do a thing, how to do a production like this, how to direct and not act, how to make sure everything was in order. I still don't have a clue.

I have wronged people, misunderstood others, judged and criticized, shouted for silence one too many times, leaned on what I have learnt from people who directed me, been a nag about 45degrees and aesthetics.

At the same time I have prayed, broken down, gone on my knees, reflected on my heart, taken on the spiritual leadership, given instructions, taken instructions, and tried my hardest to do my utmost best for the Lord.

And for that He is pleased.

& tomorrow, He will be glorified.

The DTVM Gang,

2011-07-02T01:56:00.015+08:00

I missed you guys :')

There's just too much to lose,

2011-06-28T01:22:00.004+08:00

#nowplaying - Terrible Things, Mayday Parade

Tonight, because it's a Monday night, I went for dinner with the 03 homies - Tin, Wyn, ZY, Harsha & Pea. They had a glorious seafood dinner while I chomped on my chicken wings and carrot cake. We laughed about life and lamented the end of holidays and the start of the school term proper. Started planning for our Bangkok trip even though this holiday just ended because we are too skool for cool. No, because we're DADP kids who have exams on the first day of school and need a break. #truestory

& then Kejun called after what felt like a year, and we met. There's something different about him, I just can't place a finger on exactly what it is. We can still talk, about our dreams and where we are now in life, but he's just not the same guy who was my best friend 3 years ago. Not the one who would piece back a picture for me, run back to school to get my science textbook, or appear at my doorstep red in the face with a box full of presents and 15 cards on my birthday.

But that's what life does to us, I guess. It changes us. We grow up, we realise our mistakes, and with each lesson learnt, we change a little. KJ if you're reading this(which I highly doubt so), you were a constant in my life for so long, and the dreams that you have now, so different from what they used to be, don't give up on them yeah? No matter what we'll always be old friends, the sane ones in the guys, as we used to call ourselves(even if that group kinda doesn't really exist as much anymore).

It was good, the dinner + meeting KJ. A pity that I was sad though. I'm better now, stronger now, and can actually keep my problems to myself instead of always ranting about them like I used to. Wyn picked up on it though, and he's going to pass me another book to read tomorrow. Really grateful for a good friend like him (:

I know I promised to leave you alone for awhile, which is what I am doing. But it really sucks that now it suddenly has gone to the other end of the spectrum. You look right past me, as if I don't exist. You catch me looking at you, hoping for a smile, a nod, anything, really; and all you do is look away. You walk pass me without acknowledging that I am there, a living, breathing person next to you.

I do not understand how I deserve this in anyway. Is this my retribution, because I hurt you? Does it really make you feel any better to make me a stranger? It hurts, you know. Is that what you intended? How in any way do I deserve this coldness? Because I had to say no? You yourself are a bundle of confused emotions, what on earth do you expect me to do?

I am not angry with you. I know it hurts you to see me, to talk to me. I'm not asking you to behave like you used to, and as much as I can, since I am such a great bother, I will not go near you. All I am saying is that, is a small smile, a nod, an acknowledgement that I exist, too much to ask?

At least that will give me hope that one day, we can be the friends we used to be. Because no, I do not want to flip my hair and walk away #likeaboss. In truth, at most I will walk away with my head down and heart broken, because everytime I lose a friend I cherish, my heart breaks. Nobody in the world understands that, nobody in the world understands what this truly means to me.

I desperately want to talk things out with you. But I promised, so I won't initiate conversation. I don't know what to do :/

I think I am PMS-ing. Sigh.

ON ANOTHER NOTE I CANNOT WAIT FOR #LIBERATED2011'S REHEARSAL TOMORROW WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP

The Alchemist,

2011-06-26T00:09:00.007+08:00

Alwyn passed me this book today while we sat at the train station, talking for an hour as the trains went by. As I questioned my decisions in life and whether I truly was just a selfish stubborn bitch, he passed me the book and told me to read it over and over again until I was ready to let go.

I finished reading it within two hours. It is a book about a boy who listens to gypsies and kings and sorcerers and men of the desert, who watches for omens and listens to his heart to follow his destiny and finds treasure. The boy learns the secrets of the Earth, he finds the Voice of The Soul& realises that it is The Voice of The Hand Who Made It All, in other words, Daddy God.

The book encompasses all sorts of religions, but what intrigued me to no end was how much of the bible was in this fantastical story. There was Joseph & his interpretation of dreams, the centurion & his words of utter awe + surrender. The story of Santiago is one of folklore, magic and an imagined reality where the desert, the wind & the sun are all characters our hearts can speak to, but yet, this book somehow pointed me back to Daddy God, & how His ways are sovereign.

It reminded me of my destiny, my purpose. And how struggles and challenges are bound to be along the way, not armed men or robbers or thieves like in Santiago's life, but people who rob from my soul. That no matter what Daddy God will eventually lead me to where I am supposed to be, if I just listen to Him & look out for His 'omens'.

I am comforted. It has been a rough week for me; my emotions have run high and dry, my heart has been confused, and my purpose questioned. But now I am at peace once again that cliche as this saying may be, everything happens for a reason. Alwyn said that he believes that people come into our lives to teach us a lesson. I think that EVERYTHING comes into our lives to teach us lessons.

Liberated is this coming Sunday, & I am so excited I could jump out of my chair. It has been a long journey, & I'll admit a hard one. Along the way I forgot that I was dust, and it got so bad that I never enjoyed rehearsals because I was too stressed up all the time. Daddy God is gracious and He showed me a vision of our hearts and how it pleased Him, and since then doing anything related to this production has brought me such unexplainable uncontainable joy.

In other news, I've felt really distant from my friends ever since I came back from Malaysia. I tried to figure out what was it that caused this distance - the time I was away, the things that I've missed out, the people I don't have time for?

Tonight after reading that book I finally figured out why. I'm not as dependent on them anymore. Of course I treasure my friends more than anything else except Daddy God, but I don't lean on them for self-assurance, for self-esteem, for self-love. I don't have to be needed by them to know that I am special.

I know my friends need me, and vice versa. But not in the way that I used to anymore. I know it's not diminished, but my constant need to be assured that I am loved has shrunk, and therefore I don't feel as much need to go bug the whole world about my life.

That being said, it doesn't mean that any of you are less important to me. It just means that you won't have to hear as much whining as you have grown accustomed to, which I am sure you are glad about! (Now wipe that smirk off your face tyvm) I'm more secure in my Daddy God now, and for that I am grateful.

Doesn't change the fact that I miss MY GIRLS/EVAN(ENOUGH WITH THE NICKNAMES LAH)/CHARCHARLEXLEX/COMPERES/MATTJAMES/ALARMCLOCKS/THEGUYS very very very very very much. Please have Shalyn's friends gathering at Liberated 2011 so I can finally see all your faces thanx thanx HAHAHA.

Another thing I am grateful for - Wyn/Tin.

Especially Alwyn for today, you really are one of the best guy friends a girl could ever find. Thank you for always being a listening ear, forever judging(you know you do) but not letting that hinder your love & care & protectiveness (:

And finally, you.

It's been a hard week, for you more than for me. I know I have been selfish in asking that things remain the same even though it hurts you, and for that I am sorry. I will give you your space, & in this span of time I pray Daddy God be with you, that He showers you with His love to diminish any lie that you may have about yourself not being worthy enough for anything.

It takes a lot more than this for me to be able to give up on a friendship, especially one like ours'. Because you are such, a very good friend. I cling on to my friendships very tightly, and I'm not letting this go just yet. I hope that one day soon, after you've had your space to heal, and when the routine clock ticks for us to come together and laugh about our lives again, we'll be able to, be it in the same way as we used to or not.

I know I've said this a lot, but I'll miss you, dear friend. I'll always remember this week, and the love that you showered on me that I have not experienced in a long, long while. But above all I'll remember our friendship, not as a thing of the past, but something to look forward to again in the future.

Goodbye for now, dear friend.

Nostalgia,

2011-06-24T03:15:00.008+08:00

Been looking through my webcam photos and videos, & one thing I realised is that I am quite the camwhore.

Subject case in point:

Heehee that was in the east & I'm wearing wyn's jacket(it's still in my room somewhere..). I love it when boys give me their jacket for some reason it's always more comfy! Sorry I don't have a boyfriend so I have to steal from my guy bffs heheheh.

Okay the thing is in the past I would NEVER take photos by myself, I found it too disgusting when other girls did it. Prolly cause I was in secondary school and every girl camwhored with that smile & that pose.

And then I dug deeper and found things like:

When I saw this my head went just went like Oh. My. Gosh. We had good times, good memories (:

+ there was a whole bunch of other random videos I made with my girlie girls(the one on my 17th birthday, I watched it with tears in my eyes), my cousins(miss until can die), & 03! Haha there are songs, covers, stupid nonsense, everything.

As I look at the pictures and videos from just 6 months ago, I realise how much has changed yet stayed the same. No matter how old you get and the crap you go through, even when you/the people around you change, as you go through each phase in life you bring some people along with you.

Second subject case in point:

This could very well have been taken 3 years ago and neither of us would know. (Just that back then I didn't have a laptop)

I don't know what my point is exactly, I just know that I really wanted to blog(maybe it's reading char/tin's blogs that give me inspiration haha my sbux baristas!) A lot of things have been going through my head this week that I can't seem to put down into words, so I just decided to look at my old forgotten pictures taken on my webcam and all of this is what I found.

Someone who means a lot recently told me that my Daddy God & my friends are what mean the most to me. & that person's right, because nothing can replace these in my life. I plan to keep these precious gems in my life for as long as I can. & when their time in my life is up(which sometimes happen and has happened), I can say goodbye knowing that we have tons of memories to look back on and smile knowing that at that point in time, we had a blast.

Not forgetting my recent webcam photosssssss,

I cherish every friendship, and will always always be here for all of you.

I hope you truly understand that.

Like a broken videotape,

2011-06-22T11:09:00.002+08:00

The same scene is just replaying in my head over & over again.

And each time it plays the emotions from that come back and I am hit with unexplainable extreme sadness.

I've never felt so loved before, never had anyone hug me so tight I could hardly breathe and refuse to let go. Like it would kill to let me go.

It really is a shame, that things are the way they are. Jsyk I really am grateful and no, it is not that this doesn't matter to me. C'est la vie, I guess.

I pray you heal soon, that everytime you look at me I see happiness that you've gotten through this instead of the pain I see now.

You mean a lot to me too, you do.

I'm sorry, dear friend.

year 2,

2011-05-06T02:09:00.002+08:00

I'm Year 2 now.

It dawned on me as I was walking to Comperes audition, this time as part of the judging panel. Yes, 3 weeks late(or 2 months, if you count camp), but it never really sunk in, y'know?

So much has happened since I entered CASS, it's mindblowing to think that it's only been a year. My dreams have grown and formed themselves into something different and what I had previously planned for myself, I don't want so much anymore.

May last year I was in both TC & Comperes, confused over what to choose. I was learning the bacis of applied drama, loving every moment and secretly having a diabolical plan that would get me an internship with a drama school that I once loved. I was SLOWLY getting the hang of psychology. 03 was a warzone, and everyone thought I had a boyfriend(hahahahaha). I was crushing on this guy(lolol). All my best friends were strangers/acquaintances/people I hung out with.

Right now I'm Comperes Training Head. I'm working at a different drama school assistant teaching 3 - 6 year olds and loving it. I want an internship that will give me as many opportunities to do Theater for Rehabilitation & Intervention as possible. I still dread Psychology but I've learnt to bear with it for my As(Okay maybe I need to relearn that part). 03's tighter than ever(on the most part, & it all works out in the end. bring milk!) I found best friends who I can count on.

I'm directing this youth day's production.

It's amazing how life turns out, isn't it? When I graduated from Deyi with my underblock past I never knew what DADP would really turn out to be like. I just knew that I had to go there, no matter what it took. Because I know it's where Daddy God had planned for me to go <3

& now, I'm grateful. I'm content. Life is busy and a lot of the time I feel like I don't have a proper hold on it, but whatever it is I know that I'm blessed.

But at the same time I miss the people who I don't have so much time for anymore. Grateful that no matter what happens I know they're still there. I hope they know that too. Girls, if you're reading this, I mean you <3

AND I need to stop skipping classes. My CA briefs are in and I know I can do them well if only I put my heart to it and depend on my Daddy God. I pray pray pray that Southeast CDC will approve please please pleaseeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

It's amazing that I can post all these nice rainbow-y things when it's my first day. Maybe being such a complete bitch today and getting tolerated showed me how loved I am HAHAHA.

On another note, it was nice typing everything out here. I miss blogging, no matter how awesome tumblr is. But I always have to be in the right mood for this, yknow.

I am grateful for and MISS VERY MUCH my girls jaime yh candace emoboiz92/charmaine/alexandrachia THE CASS CAMP GLs alarmclockz myguyz br0z4lyfe meet up soon plz.

NOT FORGETTING #gratefulfor my older brother my specialfriend4lyfe RAYs wyntin<3 jasmine comperes the dtvm gang MY DADDY GOD :>

Closure?

2011-03-16T04:07:00.001+08:00

It's 4am and I'm kinda still confused about what just happened.

All I know is, I'm not compromising any of my friendships.

Everything else, can work its way eventually.

Goodnight world. Goodnight kor.

You.

2011-03-13T03:08:00.002+08:00

I can reason when I am the brunt of this. But when titles are stripped from me, & others start to take my place, my logic fumbles. I feel jealous, insecure & possessive. It doesn't add up to make sense, does it?

But sometimes things just work that way. Sometimes your absence in someone's life is the best gift you could give to them, even if it killed you. I don't regret what I did, because neither of us would have grown to who we are if I didn't. & I'm sorry I guilt-trip you all the time, & I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to let go.

I act as if what you've given to me for so long wasn't enough already. Both of you. And that is bullshit, because you most certainly have. & I'm grateful. This whole paradoxical differing situations in my life has given me the 'privilege' to see the different points of views, and I guess if I were one of 'em miniature powerpuff girls, like myself in another situation, I would have no explanation.

I love you. Everything might change, but some things can stay the same. <3

Explanation.

2011-03-13T01:32:00.007+08:00

How do you explain this, really?

How do you explain the nature of your friendships. The reason why you've loved & grown, & somehow gotten 'close'.

Best friend close friend good friend happy friend sad friend playmate. Do these titles really matter? What's the distinction, really? Aren't there just two lines, two distinctions? The people you can live without, & the people you can't live without. All other 'titles' don't really mean anything.

I do not know what to say. I do not know how to explain something that really shouldn't be this complicated. You meet someone. The two of you click on an uncanny level. You laugh, talk, share secrets. There are so many things that the two of you talk about that no one else would understand, so in the presence of others it is reduced to a look, or a knowing smile. That person has become a friend, someone you can't live without. And that is all.

I loved you. All of you.

& I was neglecting other people. I had to list my friends down one by one and strike them off as I slot them into my schedule, that's how bad it became. But that was my choice. My own problem. & the adventure, the laughter, the fun, the craziness, I guess it was worth it.

There's always a but, isn't there?

Things were never simple. We never really were what we projected ourselves to be. There were lies, cover ups, fake smiles and forced happiness from the start. I had to cut off totally when things were always fine and dandy when we were out, but deep down I knew you never were properly happy when I was around.

I promised myself before that I could be as many characters as I liked on stage, but with my friends, the people I care about & spend time with, for as much as possible, it has to be real.

Nothing was ever said to me(on the most part anyhow), but I knew. From the fights to the tweets to the looks to the one-time confrontation, I knew. But yet we always pretended that everything was 100% okay. & soon I could facade no longer.

I miss how things used to be, I do.

C'est la vie.

Social-Exchange Theory,

2011-01-22T00:39:00.001+08:00

Maybe one day when I stop putting in an effort to give a damn we'll truly run out of things to talk about.

chase your dreams,

2011-01-17T23:38:00.002+08:00

My best friend was asking me what was up with me all night, and I truly didn't see anything extremely unusual going on in my life. I mean, it's not like I don't have fights with my parents, watch death trials and deal with other people's burdens every other day.

But revelation hit me as it always does when I hit the shower, wyn & tin might be leaving me. It striked us today as a class that 03 is full of people who's given up their real dreams to come here. & as applications for the other schools & dream courses start again, so do the thoughts of dropping everything and going.

I've always dreamed of going out there, making it big. I know it's impossible here, know it's not where God wants me to be, so I ended up here in DADP. It's not that I don't love what I'm doing, it's just that I'm doing so much extra that it's starting to take it's toll on me.

As my two bffs in poly submit their applications, I think about how I would do anything to be able to do the same. To just drop everything and go, to Laselle, New York Film Academy, anywhere that lets me do theatre for theatre's sake. & how I am supposed to survive here without them.

I have a ton of people in my life, yes, but wyn&tin are the two that I know I have my place with in CASS, in DADP, where I belong. Don't get me wrong, I'll rejoice with them if they get a step closer to their dreams - I'll be more than grateful to be in their position.

I just wish I could, for once, be truly contented with where I am right now. I want that childhood dream of mine to die just so it wouldn't hurt anymore, but yet I can't bear to see everything I ever wanted fade away.

At least I get to do drama at all. I should be grateful for that.

I guess I'm just tired of being second place. In everyone else's lives, because everyone has the impression that Shalyn-Just-Has-Too-Many-People-She-Can't-Care-About-Me-So-Let's-Care-About-Someone-Else. When all I really want to do is prioritise someone, anyone who would be willing to put me first.

DADP cannot be second place. I can no longer think that I am here just because I am not good enough to survive out there on the big stage, because right here on the ground, touching lives, this is my stage.

God give me the strength.

The End, New Beginning;

2010-12-31T14:42:00.003+08:00

I have 5 minutes before I have to rush off to party the year away. (Yeah right, Imma watch movies through the night lika good Christian girl with Ancient Cell)

SO, in summary, all I can say is that the one thing that I'm grateful for this year is that I was never, ever alone; even when I felt like I was. I always had my awesome people around me, surrounding me with love and support, every step of the way.

Through the change and transitions, these people who I have dedicated the post below to have kept me grounded, and always remind me of who I truly am. They save me whenever I get to close to getting sucked into each environment I am in.

And my Daddy God is who I must thank the most this year, as like every other year. Without Him, I wouldn't be in DADP loving what I study, being able to actually do well for once in my life. Without Him, I wouldn't have chosen comperes. Without Him, I wouldn't be in the RAYs Leadrship & gained TCC. Without Him, I wouldn't have neverending love. Without Him, I would be nothing.

Thank you Daddy God, I love you for loving me no matter what.

In 2011, I will:

Do my devotion every day without fail.
Give my 100% to all school work yet not hold on to it too tightly.
Prioritise my time properly & spread it evenly through all my friends.
Depend solely on my Daddy God.

& finally;

Walk in love just like Jesus. WWJD (:

2010 People

2010-12-31T02:09:00.006+08:00

There have been so many people that has impacted my life this year, who has aid in transforming me through the chaos that was 2010.

So let's start with the new faces, shall we not?

#DADP 03

DADP 03, all of you have been absolutely wonderful. We have our disagreements, we almost had a war with our 3 zones, but at the end of the day, we all know that we love each other till death. This first sem & a half have been crazy madness, and even though I'm worried for projects I know it'll be a blast with you guys :D

Clifford: Although I want to kill you half the time, I will always care about you lah huh. Please let's not fight anymore if not DD will shatter to pieces TRUCE TRUCE TRUCE!

Alwyn: Hi wyn, I love you very much. From the-teaching-you-how-to-hug to you listening to our countless stories, things have come a long way. You're someone I can rely on for ANYTHING, and you always go the extra mile for me. Thank you, for everything. And yes, you are awesome.

Fatin: My dear tintin, how can I summarise what you mean to me? If you remember my long birthday speech to you, you've really impacted me in a huge way since I've entered CASS. You&wyn give me stability, and you're always the best person hear me out, because you don't judge me. I love you tin.

#Comperes

Hate using the same picture but it's so hard to find! Plus mel&mich are missing :/

Comperes I love you all till my heart can burst okay. It's really funny when I look back and think of how different things used to be like half of you couldn't stand me :D But now I know you love me! (inside joke LOL) Those times that we hang and just laugh and talk about nothing and yet everything make me go all warm and fuzzy HEHEH.

ALEXANDRA CHIA: My dear girl I love how you always call/text whenever you get any inkling that something's wrong, how we click so well, how I can feel safe confiding in you, and how much you can understand me. I am so glad to have you and I hope our friendship'll last forever. Let's always not fight okay? ♥

Charmaine: Refer to post below. HAHAHA Char I love you for always being here for me, for always looking out for me, taking care of me. Thanks for trusting me, and letting me into your free-spirited life, and making time for me. ♥

Madmad: Mad you are the sweetest thing EVER seriously. Don't ever lose that okay!!! & you're also fun to be around, cute and bringing life to us. I'll always be your apple!

Evan: Evan evan evannnn, where do I even begin? I just want to thank you for your friendship. Loads of things has happened this year, but to conclude it all; you'll always be my best friend. Remember what you pinky promised okay? Love you!

Bry: BRYYYYYY! Well we've come a long way from you thinking I am an annoying bundle of noise and I knowing you as cute-boy-who-doesn't-like-me HAHAHA. You are awesome to bitch to, awesome to hang out with, and an awesome person to be around. Don't EVER doubt yourself and your life okay, we love you!

Eug: PERSON I CAN IDENTIFY WITH THE MOST BECAUSE OF OUR SIMILAR PASTS! Thanks for always looking out for me, you really remind me of my gan gors of the distant past!

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#Alarm Clocks

Wo ai ni men hen duo hen duo!

It is amazing how we can still keep in contact, how you boys always make time for me, how you ignore the fact that you are from "5N" and I am the noisy girl who hangs out with the gansta boyz from "4E". It took loads of 2009 crap that got us to this place, but I don't regret a thing.

#The Guys

Missing matt, & the 438-ers.

The Guys will always be a part of my life somehow. I care about you all too much to let it all go. I'm glad you've grown, glad that you know how to treat a girl right(well, Jas&I anyhow; & there are exceptions). Thank you for always bringing laughter into my life, and accepting me as The Girl In The Group.

Jasmine: Jas my dear, thank you for always making sure we stay in contact; checking up on me, helping me initiate outings with the rest. You've been my listening ear, done me countless favours, and I'm glad that you trust me. Love you Jas, no matter what happens with them, we've still got each other.

Kejun: Hi, thanks for everything. I'm sorry I always give you the cold shoulder and flare up at you because I know you're the only one who will take it in your stride because you care about me. I really appreciate you.

#The Girls

MY GIRLS, this year was the toughest year for us yet. We've fought, almost killed each other; but come out of it stronger. You girls know me the best, always listen to my grandmother stories, know when I'm down and are ALWAYS here for me. You all are truly my BESTEST friends, & I'm grateful.

Jayjay, I am so grateful to have you in CASS. I am the bestest friend in the world I know(HAHA), but so are you. You share my joy and share my pain, and you've put up with the bad and bitchy Shalyn that hardly anyone sees. I love you my Strawberry Best Friend!

Huihui! My daughter I am giving away! HAHAHA, you are one person who can see the sadness in my eyes, the pain in my laughter, the facades I put on. You never fail to call me at JUST the right timing, before I break down so I won't alone. I love you very much my huihui!

Dacedace, MY DARLING DACE; 2010 was a much better year than last's wasn't it? Even though you have the cutest worries in the world like your wedding, I'm more than happy to share in it. You are always understanding, always listening. And plotting with me as well if you remember! Love you dace dacee!

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#RAYs Ministry

The Closed Cell/Thea's Closed Cell

TCC was a real pillar of strength for me this year, as I learnt how to lift my dependence of the people of the world and place it onto God Himself and wonderful people like them instead. Being the baby of the group, they had to put up with ALOT of crying(not like they didn't themselves LOL). Love you all, thank you for always pointing me in the right direction!

Ancient Cell

Hi Ancient Cell/Childhood Friends, it's been 5 years, and I guess you could say we've all grown leaps and bounds. Spending time with you guys is always epic, and always somehow meaningful in its own way. Thanks for being awesome; forgiving my annoying-ness and ignoring the fact that I'm the only 17 year old :D

Job: 2010 is the year where EVERYTHING changed for us. But at the end of the day, it was all worth it. Love you, my special friend, remember that I'll always be here for you; and that I care about you(NOT THAT I AM KPO). Thanks for putting up with all that you have, I know you think it's worth it too!

[edit]

#RAYs Leaders

How could I have forgotten to dedicate to the awesome people otherwise known as the RAYs Leadership? Stepping up has made me realise how difficult it truly is to run a ministry, how important it is to depend on God in all decisions, big or small. All of you are role models to me in every sense of the word, & I have much to learn from you all. Thanks for never belittling me, for believing in me. (:

Deebs: This year your 'little sister' learnt how to grow up and stand on her own. Know that I am indebted to you for who I am till the end of time, and you will always be my big brother, ALWAYS. I know I don't call as often and don't have the time to be a constant annoyance, but as you told me before, you came first. (:

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& those, are the people who I owe my life to.

Not forgetting my dear Daddy God who fathered me to who I am today.

2010 Highlights;

2010-12-30T20:25:00.008+08:00

Every year I blog about the lessons, the people, my life as a whole. I've shifted to tumblr, but it just didn't seem right to not post up my tradition reflection post, so here I am.

One word to describe 2010 - change. So much has changed this year, I've had so many different transitions and new responsibilities. To many of us, 2010 was 2 years squeezed into one: Part One the Life-Before-Poly, & Part Two the Life-In-Poly.

This shall be a three part series much like Pastor's sermons - 2010 Highlights, 2010 People, & 2010 Reflections/2011 Resolutions.

#Countdown

The year started like any other, counting down in church with RAYs. I remember the midnight movie and the crashing of the soccer people. I remember worshiping God with all my heart, promising to never forsake that for anything. I remember the worry and feelings because on the first day of 2010, I was still in love with _____.

#O Level Results - 13th Jan 2010

We crossed our hearts and promised that we wouldn't tear open our envelopes till we all got them. From our different classes, we rushed to sit in a circle and shout scream and yell before we found out our results together. I wanted to fly to the moon when I found out that I was eligible for DADP.

The One Most Important Day Of My Life - For Now

#Deeben's 21st Birthday

The prom I never had! Dress-hunting was super fun with the girls; withdrawing money for the first time to get his Itouch made me feel like some noob; and appreciating Deebs for being the big brother I never had was :')

#Becoming a cell leader

This was the very first cell outing of the year, and the first of many I were to organise! It's missing my dear Yanting though! Taking on a cell was really difficult at first, especially since there were people from ancient cell! But at the end of the year, I look back and don't regret stepping up. I love my cell!

#Trumpet Praise

Trumpet Praise was 4 long months of dying to myself on the inside(TCC JOKE), but at the end of the day, I learnt how to stay at my station, and be STILL; through Trumpet Praise. I had awesome supervisors who let me listen and read whatever I wanted, and so my knowledge of God increased through that 4 months. It was also the catalyst of Switchfoot being my favourite band.

#One month of torture

#Love Actually

It was my first event as a RAYs leader! It was kinda awesome, that week of fasting and praying outside the cafe whilst people shot you weirded out stares. And the first time since I was 10 I sang into a mike as well(not counting Agapeland). Seeds were planted, and it was a blast as a whole.

#KL + The Girls

KL was one heck of a rollercoaster ride. The mamaks, the bars, the drinking, the racing along the roads, the shopping(loads & loads & loads of shopping), the roller coasters(literally), the ice skating, the heart to hearts, the TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT-s, the k-pop(YES, SHALYN & KPOP), the laughters, the waking up next to best friends!

#Movieton

It was a night of good cheer with childhood friends. & a night when I heard something I didn't really want to hear at that time. A night to forget everything else and be transported to movie-land.

#Jovon&Gary

There was a point in time where I spent everyday of my life with these two. That's why they're classified as an event, because well, it was a month of brotherhood; & the fail learning of the guitar. They're fun to be around with, & never fail to make me laugh, and all those nights at Jovon's with Gary(& Jaime) are never forgotten.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#CASS Freshman Orientation

CASS Freshman Orientation was an experience like no other. It threw me into an environment with screaming, cheering people; people who talked almost as much as I did, with enthusiasm to match mine. Everything was new, fun & exciting, and I love how we all hanged out together, like ALL the year ones, after camp.

#Clifford

It was an event alright, walking down a path and then shutting doors. (:

#Straw Clan

I remember that up until then I was fluttering around, hanging out with everyone but belonging with no one. Like I had friends of course and everyone would ask me to sit at their table but had no table of my own. & then Straw Clan was formed :D (& also the 3 war zones!)

#Joining Comperes

This was the very first event I hosted, Graduation Ceremony with Fadz Wadz. At that point in time I was still deciding if I should stay or leave, and boy have loads of things changed since then. Comperes has become such a huge part of my life I couldn't imagine if I had chosen otherwise :')

#DADP Nerd Day

It was around that period of time that 03 broke our war zones and became as united as ever, and also then that I started getting to know the rest of our small course a lil' better.

#ONOW

Chen Su Lan Children's Home. Onow by far was one of the projects that I've learnt so much from, because the children touched my hearts and even though my hair was pulled my stomach was punched & I got kicked countless of times, it was worth more than that B+.

#Charmaine

Hi Char, you're an event because your entrance into my life was significant. We hanged out whenever we could, and you gave my best friend her job. And also, it was through you that I got close to the rest. So yes, you're an event :)

#The Start Of 4 Months Of Stalking

#Summerfest

The start of improvised hosting, thanks to madmad :D

#Church Camp

First church camp as a cell leader; plus I myself experienced God greatly.

#Ancient Cell Roadtrip

Roadtrip was epic in every sense of the word. We ate alot, laughed alot, got lost alot, massaged alot, shopped alot, played alot, talked alot, pop pop-ed alot, chilled alot, got protected alot(hee). & the best part was when we missed our bus back to Singapore, got stranded in a hotel lobby, and hired a private van back (Y)

#Tattoo

Filming Tattoo was fun, my acting was horrendous though. & it was different, the whole experience.

#National Day

National Day was the once-in-2-months gathering with the guys, and it was spectacular sitting on what felt was the top of the world(a highway) watching the fireworks blast into the sky.

#03 BBQ

#Singapore Children's Society

The forum piece DADP did for the Singapore Children's Society was the first external project I've ever done, and it was really good exposure. The kids were absolutely wonderful, and even though Laura was so annoying, she was a blast to be.

#Shatinwyn

Somewhere in the midst of this, Fatin&Alwyn became the bestest friends I have in Poly; & from there came loads of hthts on our SOTA steps, adventures, meals, & laughters.

#Comperes Chalet

Mega craziness with mega crazy people.

#YOG

#KB with The Guys

When I needed a break from my poly life.

#Adventure

My 2 bestfriends and I went on an adventure last night. I started it off by dyeing my hair red in the afternoon. Met them for dinner in town, caught up along the way, sat on our steps, bus ride to the east side, taking pictures at a playground, going in an empty carpark hoping for an abandoned trolley, disturbing peace at 1am, laughing at stupid things and people, walked to East Coast Beach, lied on the sand, htht about life, contemplated to call dxm, shared secrets and comfortable silence, shed tears, reminscing, laughed, watched the waves, laughed at army men marching, got creeped out by a stalker, waited for the sunrise, ate pancakes and crashed at my place.
We never looked back when we walked forward, because it’s scary. Literally. Because feelings will change when you look back. And most of the time, those feelings aren’t the ones that we want to feel.
You just move forward, even if it’s a risk because life’s an adventure like that.
- Fatin's tumblr

#Bry's Birthday/Comperes Chalet Part 2

It was around here that they all started meaning the world to me, and becoming a huge part of my life.

#ECP Cycling

First outing after zomgzxzzxzx.

#Stayover at Alex's

A night of crying. LOL!

#17th Birthday

I truly felt like a pampered princess on my 17th. Thank you, all of you. Less than 3!

#Halloween

The first time I ever dressed up for Halloween! Plus the crashing at my place singing stupid videos was fun (:

#Escapade

It stole my life away for a week and left me walking dead the next morning! But still, an experience like no other.

#SP Star

First mega event ever! Running down the staircase with sirens wailing lights flashing was EPIC, & the rest of the show was just a huge blur with me breaking down over our mistakes at the end. It was quite a blast despite the long hours & mess ups!

#Operation Sadness

Psychology project in which I sat at a bus-stop & cried for 3 minutes.

#Edge Conference

Edge conference freed me from Torture Week :D :D :D

#RAYs Youth Camp

Through RAYs Youth Camp, I have learnt leadership, love, grief, compassion, healthy torture(the RUNNING), worship, and most importantly, known a little more of the Love of God. Through camp, I gained enlightenment.

#Christmas

My most favorite holiday of the year! Happy belated birthday, Jesus (:

#The Cousins

I lost my life to them for a week, but it was more than worth it. I miss them already.

And that, my friends, is my highlights of 2010. As you can see, there has been so much that has happened to me this year, which is why it is necessary to have more blog posts of reflection before your scroll decides not to work.

2010-03-20T21:37:00.001+08:00

I got a tumblr (:

your fight, is my fight

2010-03-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

Okay so I realise I haven't blogged in a month. HAHA oops I've been busy lah!!! I'm sorry :/. Busy doing what, you may ask, since I am JOBLESS(heehee)? Loads actually, like going to KL and back, doing my room, sending in poly applications and going for medical checkups, worship leading+teaching for agapeland, RAYs leaders meetings, and basically going out and having a ton of fun with my awesome friends :D:D:D

KL TRIP

Okay seriously, if I blog about it, I would just die because the whole trip just can't be reduced to wordssssssssssssssss. It was just awesome, and I really love the time we spent there. We got used to the whole routine of wake up, take turns to play, go out and play/shop like crazy, go home and nap, & go out and play till 3am and cruise down the highway at top speed on the way back home, sleep, and the cycle repeats again the next day(:

I just had a blast with them girlies, and I can't wait to get back there:D

Also, many many thanks to TAY for driving us around EVERYWHERE you're awesome too! :D

If you really want details please go to Jaime's blog (:

AND THE REST OF MY LIFE IS JUST PLAYING AND FULFILLING RESPONSIBILITIES AND MEETING UP WITH EVERYONE I NEED TO :D

Argh blogging's such a chore now and I really don't feel like blogging anymore, since I have now become addicted to twitter. It's so much more convenient! Not as if I got time to blog once I start school and everything. Who needs to know all the details of my life anyway, just me right?!?! Yes right.

I'm just too lazy to do a full length report of my whole life thus far you know? I'll prob just go get a tumblr, which is kinda equivalent to twitter just with more word space. I'll keep this website around, since my whole secondary school life is here. But now that stage in my life is over, and my blogger phase as well I think.

I'll post up my tumblr link if I really get around to getting it. Anyway, no one reads my blogger anymore so doesn't really matter HAHAHA.

AND AND AND, JUSTIN BIEBER IS THE LOVE<3

they fall like snow, from a wounded soul ;

2010-02-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

HI HI HI HI HI!

I really am neglecting my blog. Am too caught up with life lah huh, these few weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy! Time really flies. My last day at Trumpet Praise is this saturday, and we girls finally head for our trip NEXT MONDAY! Super duper excited :D :D :D

And then we go, have a ton of fun, come back, I redo my room(AHLEE THE AWESOME IS DESIGNING!), and orientation camps start. Scaryyyyyyyyyyyy much! But exciting la (: SP PACKAGE IS HERE ALREADY IT IS SO IRRITATING BUT MY DAD IS EFFICIENT so I have it mostly done already :)

CNY'10

First time I ever remember having service on the first day of CNY.

THE LITTLE BABY GIRL I AM HOLDING IS SO CUTE OKAYYYYYYY she's my baby cousin who I met for the first time LOL she lives overseas and is my father's cousin's daughter. Super cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

My girls(w/o jay who was in msia) & the nonchinese guys(incld jk) came over on the second day of cny, and we ate and played and gossipgirl-ed :D Ben,lydia,gladys & cheryl came over and drove us to ben/lydia's place! Not before my timor show&tell of course (: We played the game of life! Actually they played while I watched lah since I was too busy hacking lydia's account LOL. Still, hilarious ttm :D

We all packed into cars and headed to marina barrage after! The view is truly awesomeeeeee :D. NEXT CELL OUTING WE ARE SO TOTALLY GOING THERE FLY KITE HEEE.

THIS PICTURE IS SCARY LOR

NUN AND DEEBEN LOOK LIKE LOST KIDS

This picture is classic LOL

Nicely taken by lydia! :D

Headed for dipper(dinner+supper) after and we ate WENDY'S! ;D

And the next day was Nat's annual cny open house!

LE LER'S SUNGLASSES ARE SO SMALLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Look at my kid brother playing lah SO DISTURBING

SO CUTE

tiny mahjong set! seriously don't know how they can play lah HAHA

More LIFE! ;D

HAHAHAH DEEBEN IN HIS PILE OF MUSH STATE WHENEVER NATHAN'S AROUND!

And that pretty much summed up my CNY. It's so RAYs-ish every year, just the way I like it :D And this year the girls visited!!! :D:D

AND THEN in between Jovina! came to find meeeeee and I also celebrated val's birthday for her! Pictures aren't here though so I'll blog more next timeeee. HEH love them both :D

And and and, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY VAL, we'll celebrate many more birthdays for each other to come! I can't believe its been 12 years alreadyyyyy (:

Love Actually Behind The Scenes

Ben in distress studying as I happily disturb him HAHA.

Preparing for Love Actually was a blast, and it definitely all paid off on the day itself :D

LOVE ACTUALLY!

Was down at owen center for food run at 1145AM OKAY! (Love Actually properly starts at 530pm) Sarahee came w me, and we basically spent an hour and a half driving around Singapore collecting food. And JJ's GPS inefficient somemore! HAHA.

Finally got everything, picked the mutton+deeben up, and headed t smu!

AHLEE so awesomeee the placed looked great!

THE PROGRAM WAS SO NICE RIGHT SEE TOLD YOU AHLEE IS AWESOME!

B4 everyone started pouring in, we started the evening the way we should've, worshipping our Lord Jesus :D

JOLENE! It's awesome when your secondary school friends go to poly and meet your church friends HAHAHA.

The treehouse was seriously over populated there were a 120 people there that day :D :D :D

The balloons so pretty!

Let That Be Enough was super niceeee. NUN STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR BASS! :)

I'VE GOT A TRIANGLE FRIEND SO COOL HE CAN MAKE MOVIES! (: (: (: Triangle Friend Lee Da Wei, you really did an awesome job. & I'm really proud to call you my triangle friend! Hee.

JJ is the bomb whenever he opens his mouth to speak. (:

RAYDIO! HAHA I'm not even part or RAYDIO lor! Heh.

And that was an awesome end to Love Actually. Seeds were sown, hearts were lifted, and God was smiling over us (:

Ben&Jerry-ed! Thanks to the free voucher heeee. Thanks val for paying t rest! And thank you many many dace,yh,val&kally for coming. Love you all very very much :D :D :D

And and and, happy belated birthday birthday, matthew goh jia hui! Lol.

Weijie's 22nd!

A bunch of us leaders surprised him @ Sakura! :D It was a time of fun, laughter, affirmation, and alot alot alot of food. LOL.

RAW PRAWN SAY YUCK

LYDIA SPIT IT OUT HAHA

ALL YOU CAN EAT RIGHT, but they so kiasu they started eating while taking their food. Jialat.. BOYS! LOL.

Making weijie's cake!

CAKE!

Weijie touched that so many people contributed to his very meaningful present. Aww!

Stingray which I DO NOT eat hahaa! Anyhow only.

Happy bday, WJ! See it see it! HEH.

Jovon&Joel!

I was sitting on my chair wrapping books(sigh no life I know) when suddenly this ahbeng looking(HAHA SORRY BUT YOU LOOK AHBENG LOR YOUR PEIRCING LAH PFFT) very familiar looking person went 'Shalyn.' HAHA SCARY MUCH yes it was jovon lee my long no longer lost biscuit brother hahaha. He&Joel came to find me for dinner to celebrate Jovon's birthday! (so many birthdays I know, broke alr)

They went to walk around b4 I ended work, and they were about to starve to death when I finally appeared at pasta mania LOL.

Me : Ahhh I'm sorry I promise I'll never forget you again Joel!

Jovon : Put him as your wallpaper lah.

*pause* -.-

LOL. But really I'm sorry Joel now that I remember everything I can't believe I would have forgotten either! I EVEN REMEMBER WHAT BRAND OF MAGGI NODDLES WE ATE IT WAS THE KOREAN ONE FOR YOU AND JOVON AND CHICKEN FLAVOURED MAGGI MEE FOR ME HAHAHAHA!

*snap*

Jovon: Ugly leh.

Me: I know right HAHAHA.

During dinner catch-ed up, fessed up, & caught up somemore! :D

AND JOVON'S STUPID PIERCING KEPT GETTING ALL DISGUSTING WHEN HE ATE AND TALKED AND LAUGHED BECAUSE IT KEPT GETTING SAUCED YUCK YUCK lol.

Joel was bored. LOL. Smiley faceeeeeeeeeeee (:

After dinner, walked aimlessly, bought yami yougurt, and headed to the staircase at the end of haagen diasssssss! Haha the breeze was awesome and it brought back memories of when I used to go there all those years ago!

Happy birthday, Jovon bing gan gor! :D Haha 9th time wishing you already (: Thanks for being my brother all these years, you know I really appreciate your friendship. Heh.

Okay it is 4.12am and I slept at 6am last morning because I was watching My Fair Lady LOL. And I am baking cookies for Eugene&Jasmine w JasmineYap tomorrow!!!!!! :D :D :D Can't wait can't wait haven't baked in foreverrrrrrrrrr.

Night night! :)

we are once in a lifetime,

2010-02-10T01:26:00.003+08:00

Heydihoooooooo! (:

I have decided not to let my blog rot further! I can already see the fungi heh.

Billy Bombers!

Finally met up with them alarm clocks after 100000 years! Okay la, 3 weeks? One month? Oh w/eeeee it felt like a really long time HAHA. & me&dace got our milkshake yay! :D It was fun lahhh (: EVEN THOUGH THEY KEEP LAUGHING AT ME GRRRR. Oh well, what else is new? Heh.

We just sat there at billy bombers after we all finished eating and talked and talked and laughed and laughed and bang-ed tables and played 'games' for like at least an hour. The waitresses were all staring at us by the time we decided to leave HAHA. Pei-ed the boys to ion, where a super duper high yh met us and we royce-d & popcorn-ed :)

Shopping!

I actually went shopping with jayjay AND kejun AND zejun like whattttt HAHA. But then we mostly went to different stores or left them outside to rot HAHA. So yes it was rather okay :D Ion-ed & 313-ed! Jaime went on a spreeee please 3 articles of clothinggg & more! I just bought one dress thing LOL.

Far East-ed with the girls the next day, & it was SUPER FRUITFUL we all got most of our cny clothing already :D We walked the whole super huge mall and by the time we were done we were close to death alreadyyyy our legs were killing us!

Went to macs to stone, rest our feet, and plan our m'sia trip. Which reminds me, GIRLS WE HAVE TO GET OUR TICKETS B4 CNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Jared's Birthday Celebrations

To celebrate his birthday I decided to bring him out since I have uhh never ever brought him out in his entire life HAHA yes I know I'm horrible. So me,yh&jaime brought him out to the zoo! It was a ton of fun actually besides the fact that MY SLIPPERS BROKE ): so I had to buy a 54bucks pair of ugly crocs *makes a face* the zoo should be sued for not having cheap slippers.

And I can't upload pictures because they're all w my dearest JayJay! Like all 200 of themmmm. Jay's gonna die uploading them LOL.

In the meantime..

He was so happy to be picked as a volunteer LOL.

After that hot sticky day, went back, showered, and far east-ed with jas! (I'm going to die of going to far east too much one day) Pictures are w jas though!

Professor Brawn's Cafe

Me, sher, isabel & eileen went to this awesome cafe to celebrate eileen's belated birthday! :D. The place is super cool okay, they're like aiding pathlight and everything, providing jobs and raising funds. And the food is good as well! I shall patronize this place often :D

Had an awesome time with them, with sher's overwhelming fear of The Second Floor and all HAHA. Rushed off for shersher to church, where we crashed gig practice! :) They sound awesome alreadyyyyy! RAYDIO ftw! :)

KBOX!

KOREAN FANBOY

HAHAHA THIS WAS FUN-ESS TO THE MAXY MAX AS YH WOULD SAY. I thought it would be abit strange actually but it wasn't at alllllllll leler&donnie were MORE enthu than us lah AHAHAHA. They duet-ed and solo-ed and screamed and all HAHA.

Sher went crazy over all the korean songs and nearly drove us mad, while donnie scrolled through 78 pages to find isabel's yang cheng ling HAHAHA. Donnie did solos okay NOT BAD AT ALL ahaha! Job the usual la huhhhhhhhh heee. It was just a bundle of joyyyyyyy & laughter :D

The Guys

All I can say is, I missed them like crazy.

They'll always be the guys I guess, no matter what happens, the amount of time we don't meet, & everything. Every time there's another outing, it's all ~~almost~~ exactly the same (:, just a lil more mature, a little more growth(literal aka taller except for matt HAHA) as individuals :D It's like, everything's the same, yet different.

And these outings ensure me that they didn't die! Heh.

OKAY I am working tmrw and it is 3am GOODNIGHT

needle & haystack life ;

2010-01-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

I am horrible because I have not updated properly since the year started. But I've just been so caught up in the whirlwind of life that I don't have the time to sit down & type my joys into this beloved space.

I shall try and compensate that by blogging a proper post now, but I really have no idea who still bothers to visit since I haven't updated properly for so long. Ohwell, it's for history & memoir's sake! :D

By the way, with my atrocious spelling, I really have no idea how I got my A1. I am dependent on google chrome to edit my spelling errors HAHAHA.

Crossover Service + Midnight Movie

I've counted down every new year's I can remember(& those I can't remember) in church, & every year it's a blast. It's great spending the last few minutes of the year and the next few mintues of the new year singing, praising, jumping and shouting for Him alongside the bunch of people who's seen you grow, been there for you, and love you for you.

& somehow we just had this thing for midnight movies and so 4 of us girls + 2 ~~gay~~guys wentta catch the vampire's assitant at 2.20am! It was kinda freaky, but yet rather interesting even though the ending is horrible *punches director*. Headed to kallang to find the rest of 'em who were for some reason having the time of their lives in a cage. And paying 180bucks for that cage at that. Yes I know, I'm such a GIRL but common man, its just this thing with long fences and nets and fake grass! *shakes head* Ohwell, boys and their soccer. Whatever makes them happy I guess HAHA.

First 2010 Girls Outing!

Met jay&yh @ ion & went to starbucks to chill & TALK TALK TALKKKKKK.

I just don't get this korean thing

Headed over t my place t watch Bring It On and then over t serangoon t meet dace & return the cds. Had ice cream in this posh ice cream cafe, where the ice cream was fab and the environment was rockin', & most importantly, my girls were all tgt (:

Dace's 17th

Happy belated my dear girl, I don't think I shall repeat my long speech here, because I'm sure you keep every word dearly in your heart! HAHA. You know I love you la, & we will be friends that truly last for a lifetime. Love you more than you know! <3

Trianglefriend's 18th

Happy belated birthday. :). You had an awesome 18th, I know. Love ya triangle friend, and just know, I truly, sincerely miss you. <3

O Level Results

OPENED MY RESULTS WITH THESE GIRLS OHMYLA we screamed cried laughed shouted like crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy we went nuts together I love them to bits and pieces and now we've all gotten what we wanted WOOHOO. (that announcement is for the end of the post :D)

Went t dace's place for gameoflife-cum-junkfood party after that HAHAHA.

Had a thankyou dinner for these two awesome*ahem* people that very night. They really are the greatest la, so grab them while you can! :D

Teaching JH

LOL I teach this boy until I get NIGHTMAREEEEE hahahaha. Kidding la, actually I got kinda caught up in my whirlwind of life and didn't have as much time for him, sorry la di! You must jiayou okay, you continue dota L4D I will seriously slap your face. You BETTER pass okay! :D

OH and in between all of that I was rushing off to the many open houses w my girlies to decide our future :)

Water Flips?

The girls(minus dace, it was a sat) came over to swimmmmmmmmm and make merry and look at my Day 2 exbition HAHAHAHA inside joke okay! :D

Mega Dress Hunting!

HAHA my dear girlies are the bestest in the world la, only they could have put up with my nonsense that day :D Go in, no dress, go out. Go in, get girls t help me _______, cannot, go out. And the cycle continues. LOL.

Hagi Lane

That was a sad mask-less day, HAHA. But the highpoint(hee) was spending time with this girl! I haven't had HTHT with her in super longgggg, missed her like crazy! Jas is like the sweetest thing heheheh.

Cell Outing!

THIS GIRL IS CUNNING OKAY

we'll all go to great heights together<3

Our very first cell outing, EVER! It was a rather huge success I must say, we all had loads of fun :D And it was meaningful fun as well<3

Deeben's 21st

THIS IS CLASSIC

love them foreverrrrr :D it's already weird not being all together ):

Deeben ah. Happy birthday, 'nuff said. (:

Last happening event - I MET UP WITH VALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL<3

At last, for my announcement,

I GOT INTO MY APPLIED DRAMA AND PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Thank you Jesus :)

The ONE Most Important Day In My Life - For Now

2010-01-15T11:44:00.001+08:00

I kinda just realised that not everyone who reads my blog has my fb. So lag as I am, this is a fb note that I wrote the day I got my results, (:

I don't deserve this.

I don't know if it has even hit me yet. I think, slowly, bit by bit, it's sinking into me, and as my results dawn upon me I marvel at how great our God truly is.

ENGLISH - A1
Combined Science - A2
Combined Humanities - B3
Chinese - B3
Mathematics - B3
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS - B3

L1R5:15 L1R5+CCA:13
L1R4:12 L1R4+CCA:10

P.S. My Midyear results are as follows :
L1R5:34
L1R4:26

I have exceeded my own expectations, and gotten much more than I deserved. And I know that alot of you don't understand how I got around to studying in the first place. I do not know if you care enough to read this, but if you do, please believe me.

IT WASN'T ME

Everyone knows how I was in sec 3. I fought with the teachers every other day, got in trouble in school and even out of school, got caught by the police once(yes Mum I know you don't know this, I'll tell you later, I can't tell you now 'cos I forgot to and you're sleeping..it really isn't as bad as it sounds) and did not study. AT ALL. I was too busy laughing and playing and talking on the phone and slacking under blocks mindlessly(HAHA I love you guys anyway YAY WE ALL PASSED Os!).

I wasn't where God wanted me to me. I was blinded, and even though everyone who cared enough for me was telling me I was going nowhere in my life, but I was stubborn and refused to budge from my position, claiming that it was the best place to be.

God changed all that. During RAYs camp 2008 He showed me what a fool I was, and it was wham bam in my face that I was to change. But that wasn't enough to shake me, stubborn as I was. I surrendered certain things in my life to Him and obeyed Him in that areas, but left my studies to rot, ignoring the fact that it was my God given responsibility.

By June 17th, it was already the middle of the year and I was still a fool, and so God reminded me through a certain tutor I have named Benjamin Tan. Ben told me that God had told him not to give up on me, no matter what, and that just broke me. It showed me how much God loved me, trusted me, and believed in me.

I got my act together, and made a commitment to start studying with His strength.

But boy, was it hard. It was a torture going to the desk everyday, forcing myself to study when all I could think about was going out to play. I am a highly distracted person, and it was impossible to align all my energies and my entire LIFE to reaching just ONE GOAL. There were so many times I remember wanting to give up, and right when I was going to throw in the towel God would break me, bring me to my knees into His arms and give me His word as strength.

Which is why I conclude that it wasn't me. This is a quote from an email I sent after prelims:

'It brought back everything to me again, and when I'm typing this as well, I just feel so overwhelmed by His love. He continued loving me, continued showing me, continued convicting me despite my many attempts to ignore the prompts of the Holy Spirit. And I see the miracle in my life as well. I know I can never credit myself for any of this, because it was not me, at all.

Shalyn would not have realised her wrong. Shalyn would not have felt that she had wasted all her time. Shalyn would not have been able to follow through to her word. Shalyn would have gotten distracted every 5mins. Shalyn would be out playing any moment she could. Shalyn would be talking on the phone, dreading the books. Shalyn would have fallen asleep before she even did one question.

It was Him, all Him. Him who brought me through. And I'm just so grateful, so so grateful.

At the end of the day, even if I don't get the results I want, I will be glad. Because I have learnt so much already. About His love, and how He never lets me go, no matter what. How despite how much of a failure I thought I was, He's always there, loving me. He believes in me, and will always believe in me.

He believes that I will be able to glorify His name.

And that's just such an honour.'

By His mercy and by His grace, I have gotten much more than I deserved. I come out of this a better person, more rooted in Christ, and armed with a testimony of love to share.

I know many of you are rolling your eyes by now because you think it's just Shalyn's normal 'rant of Jesus talk',if you even bothered to read till the end. But think about it, how else are you going to explain how I changed in the first place? Is it possible that I just randomly decided that 'OH OKAY I WON'T BE DISTRACTED ANYMORE I AM GOING TO STUDY EVERYDAY!'? Even if I did, knowing me and knowing my character, do you think I would have been able to pull this off, all by myself?

Nope I didn't think so either. It was by His strength, and His strength alone.

And of course, He used the people that I'm going to thank right now!

Ben&Weijie ; Thank you, for putting up with all my nonsense! HAHAHA. I owe you both so much, for praying with me, teaching me, guiding me, tolerating with me, empathizing with me, sacrificing SOMUCH personal time for me, and loving me.

Thea ; THANK YOU for not giving up on me during my sec 3 year, and being the constant voice of disapproval :D

Lydia ; Thank you for just being there, able to listen any time :)

Jeanette ; Thank you for mentoring me through my toughest time in my life yet!

Joel Lee ; OKAY I know right random, but well. You've imparted alot much more to me than you know. Thanks for being a friend. (:

Job ; Thanks for encouraging me through the many breakdowns I had through this journey. :D

Deeben ; Thanks for everything, this past 4 years. Need I say more? Heh. And btw, deeben doesn't actually really bully me. He's just mean to me to get his point across, because he does everything for my own good and I'll only listen if he's mean. He treats me like a lil sister actually. So yes, thank you. :D

Cm ; Please don't kill me if I tag you? Thank you, for your wake up calls, literally. And I will be praying for you.

Jh ; You ah. I guess talking sense to you made me realise that I must practice what I preach, so I had to study more each time I reminded you to study so yeah. Thanks. HAHAHA! (:

MYGIRLS ; Thank you for the never ending support, the understanding you 3 always have for all the rubbish I do, and I'm blessed to have gone through this journey with all of you. I shall take this opportunity to announce that me,jay&yh GOT EXACTLY THE SAME POINTS FOR L1R4, whereas our dear dace did better of course :D. I love you girls, thanks for always being there. <3

[edit]
HOW COULD I FORGOT, I must thank everybody who prayed for me! Love all of you many many! (:

& ma la, for praying like everyday. Heh.
[/edit]

All this makes my post yesterday make perfect sense.

Psalm 33:17-19 'A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love, to deliver them from death, and keep them alive in famine.'

And this time, I will praise the Lord. (:

surrender;

2010-01-11T00:30:00.003+08:00

I'm currently working on a hyper post about dace's birthday and trianglefriend's birthday and all the hype and hoo-ha about my life when it was all just a distraction from the reality of tomorrow.

Results are coming out, and I'm scared.

I've been avoiding it, ignoring it, taking no notice of it, feeling as if it was so far away. But with God there's no hiding. So when I couldn't type any more 'haha' and 'heh's, and God brought me to the point with no one to distract myself with, nothing to do, but go to God and just worship, I end up crashed with the reality about what's gna happen tomorrow.

I'm giving you my life, & all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life

And I surrender, all to you
All to you
And I surrender, all to you
All to you

I'm singing you this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing you, the glory of your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in your pain.

This song revealed the heart my God wants me to have, and brought me to my tears in reverence of how He knows and sees through everything.

Now, with all my heart, I can truly say that my God is in control and whatever happens, this time I will praise the Lord. I cannot truthfully tell you that I will not be disappointed if I do below my expectations, but whatever it is my God has been faithful, and so I am grateful.

Matthew 6:30 'If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow thrown into the fire, will He not clothe you, O you of little faith?'

Matthew 6:34 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

I am certain that whatever happens tomorrow, I am called to proclaim His name and give Him glory, whether in brokenness or in joy.

So Lord Jesus, give me the strength to. You are God, & I am not, & I can only see a part of the picture you're painting. So guide me through oh Lord.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

out with the old, & in w the new ;

2009-12-31T01:08:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging AT ALL, but I've been busy busy busy.(So what else is new?)

But tomorrow's the last day of the year, and I won't have time to say my proper condolences to dear 2009 because I'll be too busy working+celebrating.

Yes, working. The reason why I haven't had time to blog AT ALL. I'm working as a (don't laugh) bookstore assistant. AND NO I don't make a whole lotta noise and chase customers out. I'm working at Trumpet Praise, a christian bookchain, where the pay is extremely low but the environment is extremely awesome(:.

And I feel that it's where God wants me to be for now. I'm always told, being in the center of God's will is the best place to be, and how right that statement is. For now, I feel that's where I am, and so though the pay is lousy and I have to work 6days a week, I'll continue pressing on till God allows me to move on(which I sense is gna take a longggg time).

I'm learning much, where I am. Just like I've been this past whole year. OHYES youth camp came and went and it was awesome and Ps Jeremy is a great preacher, yes he is. But what happened there is my own personal journey w God & its gna stay that way yes it is :D.

I'm rather depressed 2009 is coming to an end actually. It hasn't really sunk it yet. It's saying byebye to Deyi, secondary school life, being childish, and saying hello to new things, life choices, and new friends. My life changed this year, and along with it who I am. Or was it the other way around? Hahah. Well, time for my yearly recap. (:

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2009

In chronological order according t my blog posts!

The coming of the AlarmClocks

Aka Jh&Cm :D

Welllllllll, it has been quite a rough journey HAHA. No one could just LET US BE FRIENDS! HEH. & they've both endured much for me as well, much *ahem* protest, much irritation, & much (unreasonable) demands.

But they're the goodest good friends lah(:, & treated me like a lil princess. And despite our very different & rather seperate lives, I know we'll still be friends for a longgggggggg time :D.

Thank you both, my alarm clocks, for everything :)

The 4o6 girls

It was a great ride lah, (: I haven't seen them in forever!

Random escapades w the guys

Conferences w trianglefriend&leler

HAHAHA this was the random "tuition" Joel Lee gave me which just ended up in me going t play pool w the both of them like seriously LOL. That period of time was.. interesting, HAHA. Our OC, remember remember??? We were like, a team kinda thing. & I rememeber mass sending messages t the both of them to conduct conferences for the weirdest reasons EVER :D. AND OUR ATTEMPT to stay up till 6am which failed very promptly at 5.30am HEH.

& I'm still sorry over how it ended trianglefriend ):

SYF GOLD WITH HONOURS

It was the most awesome show everevereverever :D The script was awesome, the show was awesome, the people were awesome, and the award was BEYOND AWESOME HEHEH. We made history people, and Drama will continue to make history even though we're gone, I know it.

And by the way, where is our grad party? The year ended! HAHA.

Jovina

I got really close to this girl during my shitty midyear period, and she understands.

Imy, Jovina. I heard you're in China! LOL.

The START of studying for Os

Saraheeeeeeeee was the very first person I studied properly with :D

& I remember the very first time I decided I would really properly study. It was all thanks to God & to Ben & to the RAYs ministry, on the 17th of June 2009 :)

RAGS

Doing RAGS was amazing, really, deeply, truly. Our first ever youth musical, and we depended on God every step of the way because we were so helpless on our own. I remember the daily rehersals, the fasting of dinners, and the ongoing prayers, which all came together in a big bang in the end :D

SYF showcase, the very last drama performance.

It ended with a bang (:

East Timor Clothes&Books Collection

God is awesome :D

Jasmine

Got close to her when school was about to end, HAHAHA. I miss this little bundle of energy already! Jasmineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I haven't seen you in FOREVERRRR.

Last Day Of School

(Such a huge jump because I was just spending all my time studying!)

HAHAHAH an brilliant way to spend your last day in secondary school ever :D I really miss 4o6 & our nonsense actually :)

Graduation'09

Picture Taking Day! HAHA, honestly, I do miss Deyi & the crazy people there (:

My Sweetest Sweet 16

Best day of the year, HANDS DOWN. I was the princess to everybody that day, and I think I was just about the happiest girl in the world, with everything I ever wanted & more (:

Timor'09

Refer to post below. HAHAHA, but yes it was awesome of course. I can't wait to get back in Marsu :D

RAYs Camp '09

& that camp marked the one year after the camp that transformed my life (:

And this camp was equally awesome, each one of us having our own little testimony to share. God works in marverlous ways, yes He does. & that's way you have t be obedient to Him, no matter what :D

Reckless, A Christmas Musical

It was a learning journey lah (:

& to end,

Spent Christmas with this fantabulous bunch of people, & will be spending the last few hours of 2009 & first few hrs of 2010 with them as well (:

CONSTANTS OF 2009

CELL!:D

This is our last year together! ): But it's been great, these 4 years. We've all grown together so much, and now it's finally the time to go our seperate ways. It's gonna be so strange! But we will continue to grow, just like we were taught to when we were all together (:

RAYs

Just about the most fabulous group of people on earth who will be with me till my death bed. Full stop. (:

Jeanette

My mentor in every sense of the word, who has taught me much about putting Christ first and burning everything else away :D

Wedgie

Thank you, for your lectures, making me cry every other tuition session, and your faith in me :D.

Ben

Thank you for being ever patient, never angry, and never giving up on me. I owe you so much, that I would have to type another 3hr long blog post if I were to type everything down :D

Lydia

LYDIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, thanks for always looking out and listening and taking care of me, though sometimes I upset you so. Love you! :D

Job

My everpresent best friend, who can finish up my sentences & see through my intentions. :D

Deepan

Once again, 'nuff said. :D

The GIRLIES

tyh

Jayjay

dacedace

I LOVE YOU GIRLS, thank you for being who you are, and for us always being there for each other.

It's gonna stay this way a long, long, long time :D

And at the end of the day, I just have to say,

My God has been very,very,very,very faithful.

Happy New Year everyone, next year's gonna be scary, but God's awesome, so who cares? (:

Love you all(;